Happy Valentine's Day...Whatever it Really Means or Wherever it Actually Came From!



Saint Valentine lived in Rome (probably referred to as Valentinus), and lived during a time when preaching Christianity was an extremely dangerous area to venture into.   It is not clear to me if he was technically a priest or a monk because he was definitely at odds with the Holy Roman Empire.  ( Much like Martin Luther had been by preaching Christianity to the poor who were being literally feared into loving God...and handing over anything they had to keep their loved ones out of hell).  He found himself in deep whatever for going against Roman Doctrine.    His crime was marrying Roman soldiers in secret as they were not allowed to take a bride and were considered, in a sense, married to their legion.   Sounds honorable enough, but since soldiers were virtually the only paid citizens provided with food, and housing...this probably wasn't Rome's angle.   The army was the largest bill the State had and they couldn't afford to take on any "dependents".     The Roman Empire, at that time has been referred to as a "plundering economy", unable to tax their own citizens due to the fact the majority of them were slaves.  The wealth of the State was largely funded by having their legions go out to villages and steal anything could find, terrorize, rape, and pillage before moving on to their next venture.  How could a man have a wife, children, and no conscience? He probably couldn't...(I watched the series "Rome" on HBO and highly recommend it by the way!).  The money stolen went, in large part, to pay slave-owners for more slaves to build more structures or for Gladiators to annihilate!    Are we still wondering why the Empire fell?   Too much expansion and not enough men to run it?   Corruption?  Greed?  Way too much partying?  Run by lunatics (due, in large part, from drinking out of lead grails) who were preoccupied with orgies, murder for entertainment, and riddled with std's!?!? (I, for one, have made up my own mind!).   In any event, Saint Valentine was captured and imprisoned for preaching the Gospels and performing these weddings.   While in prison he is said to have performed a miracle and healed his jailor's daughter.   He may or may not have been in love with her, but legend says when he left her, he gave her a letter signed "Your Valentine" to say good-bye and met his death...on February 14th.  

Now, has anything I said so far been romantic?  Only if Valentine was actually in love with this young woman... (I say he had a major crush, although, the sick daughter and the letter have never been proven to be a factual event, nor has any one man named Valentine as many preachers had that name and many of them were martyred for preaching Christianity to the poor and performing "unlawful" unions).  Or, if the plundering soldiers were actually the kind of men who any woman in her right mind would WANT to marry maybe!    So when does Romance enter the picture?  I'll get to that later.  I think.


 Moving on to something referred to Lupercalia, a charming ancient fertility ritual in which Vestal Virgins would make cakes...dogs and goats would be sacrificed, and Luperci, a shepard god, would "strike" (take that however you like...I for one am not sure he slapped, punched, or had sex with) women and virgins who wished the "gods" to bless them with children.   A historian (known as Justin) writes about Luperci, naked, dressed only in a goatskin wrap, being "suckled" by two women. (Again, your guess is as good as mine and I'm sure we're both right about what that means!).   At the end of this festive gathering the virgins who made the food for the occasion were murdered, offered up as a sacrifice in the name of conception.   Now, there is no definitive proof of a connection between this horrific display of barbarianism at its best and Valentine's Day, however, according to the calendar, it is said to have taken place between February 13th and February 15th.   Either it was a three day "suckling", "striking", "sacrificing", "nudist" event, or it took place every year on exactly February 14....commonly etched out for Valentine's Day!  (Unless, of course, you live in Brazil.  A country smart enough to distance itself from this embarrassing coincidence and set aside June 12th for lovers.   Well played Brazil...Well played!).   Oh, believe it or not, unlike the legends of St. Valentine never proven, this actually happened and was abolished by Pope Gelasius I in the late 400's!  


Enough of the boring stuff, let's get to the sweethearts, chocolate candies, Cupid's arrows, love birds, and flowers!   Lots and lots of flowers!!!   Geoffrey Chaucer, (author of the literary masterpiece The Canterbury Tales) and the Wife of Bath (which by the way was either the least romantic story I've ever read, or the black widow of Bath was the most love addicted woman ever written about, and not in a good way!), among many, many other great works!  Chaucer's own father was shipped from France to England where he was expected to marry a very affluent woman at the age of 12!!!   Thankfully, he escaped that fate and met a lovely woman who inherited a lot of land and their son, Geoffrey was sent to the King's Court and had a very interesting life, learning and working among the highest of England's hierarchy, traveling to distant lands, and ran errands for the King himself!   Chaucer was a lot of things, a messenger, page boy, law student etc...but he is best known for being the man who is credited (even over Webster) for his use and understanding of the English language.   At a time when England spoke Latin (no surprise) and French, Chaucer wrote beautiful poetry in such a new style of vernacular he was at first criticized for ruining England's language.   Later acclaimed, and though he spent most of his life in the court, even the lower classes got a hold of his writings and held on tight to the way of his words.   So, what poems are relevant to this blog you ask?  The ones in which he wrote about love birds, Cupid, and  "courting"...When Princes, Princesses, Dukes, Earls, Duchesses, Countesses, and everyone else who held a title, a significant amount of land, and horses, would meet in the King/or Queen's Court and offer each other flowers and hand made cards (which Chaucer referred to in his works as "Valentines") and Bam!...Valentine's Day!   If you've watched Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth, or Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespear in Love, (both of whom get their hearts broken by Joseph Fiennes who, coincidentally, was the actor who starred in Luther), you may already have come to the conclusion these courting events were anything but romantic.   The stiff dancing, the arrangements for political gain.  No thanks!   Today, most people have scrapped the whole "make your own Valentine" (unless your like me and still enjoy making them as if you are a grade schooler bringing one home to your parents lol!...I just made my daughter's Valentines this morning!!), and replaced them with premade cards making Hallmark a fortune!


So is Valentine's Day for destined lovers to be hit by Cupid's arrow?  Is it for high society to pretend to like the one's they are intended for?   Or, because religious men married pillaging and plundering, Roman soldiers (to whoever was desperate enough to want them) in secret?  Was it so virgins would be killed in order for other, more fortunate women to be impregnated by a beast!!!???  Who knows?   But, thankfully, we designate this day as a celebration of love.   Love for our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, and friends.   We stop for a minute to smell the roses and take time to appreciate some beauty while having an excuse to eat sweets.  If today is a day in which you find yourself feeling depressed...just remember, you could be a girl who is secretly marrying a man who brings fear, horror, and death to innocent people all the while being pleasured when he's away at Ceaser's Palace... A woman of courting age being forced to marry your third cousin from France who looks like Mr. Ed and acts like Mr.Bean...Or, a girl who baked all day just to get violently murdered in front of a bunch of naked, goatskin wearing maniacs!!!! I'll just leave you all with that!    So, Happy Valentine's Day!   Whatever that means and wherever it came from!!!    xo